Alone time with God
Believe it or not, I was not always a saint in the army of the Lord. Actually, most would have called me a hellion (my hubby's favorite word) Today, I would have to agree with the most.
I, like so many, grew up 'in church'. I attended church every Sunday, went to youth every Friday, and got re-dedicated every month. Ok, maybe every other month. Yet, when I left home, I stopped going to church, didn't associate with any of the youth, and didn't feel like I needed to get re-dedicated, because once you're saved, you can't lose your salvation, you just backslide. And backsliding was my middle name!
And backsliding was my middle name!
My story
By the time I was 23 I had two kids, a husband, a divorce, and a new boyfriend. When my kiddos were with their dad, I was with the bf. When my kids were with their grandparents, I was with the bf. And the bf just happened to be a college football player who knew every bouncer at every club on the Las Vegas strip. So, yes, we partied like it was 1999, 3 to 4 nights a week. Sex, drugs, alcohol, rock and roll right!
This life led me to became a connoisseur of all the strengths of a certain green plant I referred to as 'coffee'. After 6 years of having 'coffee' on almost a daily basis, I really wanted to stop. I felt as if I should start 'acting' like a Christian. Backsliding was getting old.
Come to Me
Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.... For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Anyone who is caught up in the life of sin, knows that it is a burden. So many things that have to go a certain way in order for the moment to be just right. To have fun, to enjoy the rush and now, I NEEDED rest.
I really felt as if the Lord beckoned me. If I woke up every morning and spent some alone time with God, He just might be able to help me remove this burden of sin. Little did I know, he didn't say He was going to help me remove it, He said He was going to answer my prayer and remove the burden completely!
You see, spending time in God's word gives you an unquenchable thirst for Him, and a bitter taste for the things keeping you from Him. This special time spent with God, took the place of my morning 'coffee'. This special time showed me a few things also.
Anyone who is caught up in the life of sin, knows that it is a burden
I was indeed not saved! Interesting point... it doesn't matter if you were born in the church, 2nd pew from the pulpit, if you are consciously living in sin, you are more than likely, not saved! But don't take my word for it, read it for yourself (1 John 3: 7-10)
I needed Him more than my habit. So, bf turned into hubby, and 2 kiddos turned into 5 at that time. I couldn't be the wife and mother I needed to be if my focus was on being 'right' after having my 'coffee'. Because I would always need my 'coffee' to be 'right', resulting in me constantly looking for an opportunity to have my 'coffee'. That isn't what my family needed. My husband needed a 'helper' and our kids needed a mother, teacher, chef, housekeeper... you get the point. In order to be all that He called me to be, His word showed me, that He was what I needed more than anything else in this life to fulfill the role that He called me to fulfill.
With Him I have eternal life, without Him, eternal death. Hey fam! I thought that I was saved and that was enough. But, it's not. We need to know that we are saved and the only way to know that is to read His word and really compare our lives with what He commands us to do. It's not enough to go to church. It's not enough to say we believe. It's not enough to have a bible at home. You have to open it. Your soul depends on it. It tells us of a real place that people will go if they have not been saved by Christ. It says that there will, one day, be eternal separation from God for those who thought they were saved. Don't think, know!
Thanking Him for His Faithfulness
I thank Him most everyday for saving me. Not from having my 'coffee', but from living my life for the world, and heading straight for eternal death. He redeemed me, restored me, and gave me a new desire and a new thirst. I thank Him, for showing me that the work that Christ did on the cross for a horrible sinner like me was all I needed to be 'right' for my day. Amazingly He did this all through the quiet beckoning of me to spend some alone time with Him.
Be Faithful, Be Free
E. Young