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  • Writer's pictureE. Young

I Am Sexy.... Part 2

Over the course of my life, I have, thus far, met some pretty interesting people. One man in particular, helped me see things in a whole new light….

A Christian man (to his knowledge), married, with 4 children. A successful business man, who just happened to have frequent flyer miles at a local Strip Club! In conversation, I asked WHY? If he loved God, his wife, and his children, why then would he go to a sleazy strip club, just to get teased. His answer was surprising, yet all too common, I've grown to realize. Here was what he said:

" When my wife and I first got married, before the kids and all the responsibilities, my wife was exciting. She gave me something to think about while I was at work (if you know what I mean). After she got saved, and the kids came, life completely changed. She stopped wearing things that I liked to see her in. Things in the bedroom became mundane and pretty boring. Going to the strip club just gets me going. The way they dress, the way they move, turns me on. They just have a sexiness about them that's very enticing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do love my wife, but if she gave me sexy every once in a while, I wouldn't feel the need to frequent the strip club."

" When my wife and I first got married, before the kids and all the responsibilities, my wife was exciting. She gave me something to think about while I was at work (if you know what I mean)."

Get rid of Your Hang-Ups

Now, before some of you get to judging, just remember, he is only a man, not God, who is being bluntly honest? Are your husbands bluntly honest with you???

Low and behold, from that day forward, I promised to myself, to always entice my husband. To bring excitement to our bedroom. To let go of all the many 'hang-ups' that come with marriage, i.e. gaining weight, having children, getting stretch-marks, and whatever other 'hang-ups' there are. Release those to God, and be everything I can be for the good of my marriage.

Now, I am sure that some of you are saying " My husband is a Christian man, he doesn't look at other women." You really need to rebuke the devil of those lies that you have actually started to believe. Come on ladies! My husband is truly an awesome man of God. He spends one on one time with God, he studies his word, is an usher and elder in training at our church. However, he also lives and works in the world. The devil's playground is in his face day after day. I will be the first to say, if I am not doing my job as a wife, which is taking care of my man, I would be a fool to think that another woman wouldn't be able to catch my husbands' eye. The bible says in I Corinthians 7:5(NIV) Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent, and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Let's Keep it Real

If anyone is withholding anything from their spouse, (except for a time of fasting and prayer, which needs to be a mutual agreement) that spouse is going to lose control, and that's when the enemy begins his temptation.

Do you remember what you all did to get your husbands??? Some may have started in the correct, pure way, with no kissing, touching, and definitely no sexual encounters of any kind. Which is great! You too still need to have an exciting, fulfilling sex life with your husbands, learning together what turns each other on. But, for most of us, we were very interesting and exciting during the dating stage. Maybe for even a little while after we said 'I do' (I was!). Nevertheless, 2-5 years later that girlfriend, that we got our husbands to fall in love with, left for good, and Wife/Mother took over... completely. Well, girlfriend needs to come back, quick! The same things we did to get our man, are the same things that will keep him. Now, if there were things done outside of the will of God, (refer to Leviticus 18: 6-23, if you are unsure of actions, sexually outside of the will of God) obviously, those cannot be brought back into the marriage bed, being that the marriage bed is to be kept pure. On the other hand, the girlfriend that jumped ship years ago, surprise your husband with her unexpected return, because Wife/Mother can't always get done what the girlfriend can!!!

( NOTE: please know that I do understand, that there are certain circumstances that make the sexual intimacies in a marriage difficult, and even at times non-existent. Intamacy for you may look different, yet there are still ways to cultivate a closeness within your marriage union, be encouraged!)

Be Faithful, Be Free

Erica Young

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