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  • Writer's pictureE. Young

Where my Sistas at?

Throughout these 41 years of life the Lord has blessed me with, I have been let in on a little secret. I’m sure you would like to know what that secret is wouldn’t you?

We NEED our Sistas! I mean, I love my husband and he is my number one, next to God. However, there are times that I need my Sista to walk me through some things that may pertain to my hubby... or not. But, not just any woman can have the privilege to hold that position in our lives.

What is a Sista?

A Sista is a woman who you are able to share your life with. She is closer than a friend, but not as close as a husband (Naturally). She is there for you when you need to talk, she is there with a shoulder when you need one to cry on. A Sista is an extension of your family, and there to help your marriage thrive not die. She will give you sound advice from the Words perspective, and she will tell you when you’re wrong, even when she knows that it may hurt. Yet, a Sista delivers her rebuke in love and knows that it will be best for you in the end. A sista can tell you if she’s too tired to talk right now, she will also stay up and talk two hours on the phone to help to comfort you during trying times. A Sista, is a sista, no specific race, age, or shape. She is just a woman who knows and loves Christ and wants to help you continue your race and endure. This is a Sista! Quite Frankly, we all need one of these!

Who can be a Sista?

Listen, when I say Sista, I am speaking about a believing woman who loves God more than she loves friendship. What do I mean by that?

Well, if I need to talk something through about a situation my husband and I may be dealing with on a serious level, I need our talk to be grounded in the truth. I need to know that any advice that is given to me will be seasoned in the truth of Christ. Anyone can give me advice, but only a Sista is going to give me the advice that I need that will be pleasing to the Lord. And isn’t that what we are to strive to do anyway, be pleasing to the Lord?

Some people may squirm in their seats when I say that your Sista NEEDS to be a follower of Christ, mainly because some of their closest friends may not be saved. And the truth is, that is ok. We can have friends from all walks of life, yet when it comes to becoming more like Christ and transforming into the woman that God calls us to be, it is difficult to discern exactly what to do, when we don’t have TRUTH backing up the advice.

Example: “You need to just go out, have a drink, have some fun, and cool off. This situation will blow over” might not be the best advice for a wife arguing with her husband.

“You should probably take this to the Lord. Pray about it, give it over to Him, and ask for the perfect opportunity to talk this over with your hubby”

Look at how different the advice is. One is rooted in the worlds way, and one in the truth of Christ.

Are all Sisters Sistas?

Quick answer NO! Just because a woman is a believer and goes to church consistently dosen’t mean that they are qualified to be a Sista. Again, I know that sounds harsh, but trust me on this one, you’ll appreciate the advice later.

I know a woman who was a believer longer than me and yet gave contrasted (is that a word?) biblical advice regarding issues that I was having with my husband. This advice never helped, just hindered our relationship and our growth. On the other hand, I know a woman who has been saved less time than I have, yet I know that if I call her on any issue, I most likely will be convicted on something, in love, and feel extremely encouraged afterwards. So in this case, the latter woman would be the Sista and the other would remain ‘a sister at church’, or ‘a sister I know’.

We have to know who to be vulnerable with. This is a good test to find out who that woman is whom I can let into my life to encourage and build me up in the word when it comes to different aspects of my private life. By the advice that they give. If it's not always based off of truth, you know not to go any deeper.

A Sista, is a woman you are able to go to when you can’t go to your husband. Kind of like your #3…God #1, Husband #2, and your Sista #3. Pretty much the only difference between this person and your husband is the sex. Ok, a few other aspects of marriage you wouldn’t share, but you get my point. This person is very close to you. If this person is not concerned with the things of God the way that you are (or should be) her being this close can get ugly…. Real quick! This is an area that we have to use much of the discernment the Lord blessed us with.

Keep Your sisters close, and your Sistas closest!!

Be Faithful, Be Free

E. Young

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